free from words

ShepherdR02

I use to write

all the time.

Masterpieces and landscapes

moonlight and stardust –

It all filled the empty pages

of my torn notebook.

If I turn it over

shake

stardust still falls

and glimmers as it falls

between the cracks of my

crazed imagination.

 

But now

it’s mostly a memory –

the worlds I created,

the feelings I invoked.

My pen was the source

of my sanity

until recently.

 

You see,

once I found you

I had no need to write.

Not that I lost all my creativity

and the buzz in my head stopped

but

the spoken

and not the written word

became my escape.

I had someone to tell everything and anything

without a glimmer of judgment.

Words became an old friend

that I visited sometimes

but we didn’t have quite the relationship

we once had.

And I almost feel like I betrayed them

…I forgot words – I left them in the dust.

 

But the truth is

I didn’t need them anymore.

My insane mind

was tamed,

I didn’t need to scream on paper

anymore because I

could use my real voice

and that was loud enough.

I want to say I’m sorry

but I don’t feel I should

because I feel freed.

I’m freed.

I’m free from the prison on these notebook lines.

I’m free from the accursed sound of scribbles.

I’m free from the writer’s block that

so often clouded my senses.

I don’t depend on you anymore, my dear friends,

You are no longer my solace in this world.

I have a real human that knows my

thoughts just by looking

at my face.

It’s easier to live like this,

I have to say.

 

I’ll never stop writing

but it’s not my life

anymore.

For the longest time

that made me sad

until I realized

…it’s empowering.

So thank you

for how far you’ve taken me,

but I have it now.

You were my training wheels

to life

but I can handle the open road.

 

I want to say I’m sorry

but how can I?

 

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